Greetings, fellow nonprofiteers. A nonprofit Executive Director and I were on the phone not too long ago, and what Jennifer and I talked about was the sense of being Executive Director of a small nonprofit. Sounds kind of zen, but it isn’t. The sentiment we agreed on, and that I promised I would write a blog about is this:
There are so many people out there who think they can have the answer and will give you advice but, in reality, if you have never been Executive Director of a small, you don’t get it.
When I started this blog, to be honest, I was heading down the self-pitying path of how hard it is. And it really is hard. But then I remembered there were some things that made being Exec so cool it is almost addictive. So here are some alternating, random thoughts on the roller coaster highs and lows of being Exec of a small.
First is an image I was given number of years ago by the Executive Director of the very small Hmong Educational Advancements here in Milwaukee. Kao Lor told me that he felt like the person standing at the center of the circus, holding up the tent pole. The circus sure is a lot of fun, but if anything happened to him, or if he just walked away, the tent pole would fall over, the tent would collapse, and the circus would be over.
Anyone who has participated in one of my governance workshops has heard me tell that story. It is a stark, lonely image to be sure but to me it speaks about two things.
One, the negative, is the sense of being alone in this. Where is the Board in that image? Where is the staff? Nowhere to be found – and that is how it feels to be an ED. You feel alone in the responsibility of keeping the circus going. Not performing in the circus, just doing what needs to be done to keep the tent up.
The other thing, and one that I like about the image, is the commitment or pride that the Exec shows to keep holding the tent pole up. A good Exec knows that’s her role and she assumes it. A responsible and responsive Exec knows that this is an important circus so he just does what he has to do to keep the tent up while the acrobats are doing what they do. And there is a certain pride in that.
I remember an event we created when I was at the Nonprofit Center of Milwaukee. It was billed as a “disrupting leadership” event. We had 6 people with interesting, innovative ideas about leadership in our sector stationed at various places in a sprawling space in a redeveloped brewery. The audience had to move from station to station and listen to the pitches by these innovators. These were not formal presentations made in enclosed rooms for specific amounts of time. The audience just moved at will throughout the space, along unfinished hallways, and listened in where they wanted to.
It was chaos, but it was amazing. The energy in the building was palpable and exciting as people talked and shared reactions to what they had heard. We had created an event. No, we had created a moment. It was beautiful and I was so proud of the whole team for pulling it off.
About that alone feeling. When talking about being Exec I bring up that there is really no one to talk with about the stuff that goes on. (I would rather use a stronger word than “stuff” but want to keep this clean.) Who do you talk to about that program officer who made all kinds of positive comments and asked you to submit a request for $25,000 for that project and then never championed it at the foundation? Who do you talk to about the fact that you actually do not like doing fund raising, but do it anyway because that’s part of holding the tent pole up? Who do you talk to about that staff person who is grousing about everything you do behind your back and then accuses you in public of not creating a fun environment to work in?
Talk to your board about these things, and they freak out. Talk to your staff about these things and they freak out. Talk to your funders and…oh heck they wouldn’t even take the call.
About that feeling of pride. I will openly admit that I have made many mistakes when serving as Exec. I am often too quick to rush out on some tiny limb and see if that crazy idea will work, only to have the limb break on me. But then there was the time I was recalling the old days with a former employee. She told me that she looked fondly back on the times when we worked together because she felt that any time someone had a good idea my reaction was always “Go for it and see what happens.” She felt empowered and supported and that led her to have the confidence to be the Exec on her own.
I then looked at the work she is doing now and if I had even the smallest influence on that I will accept the compliment. I would be extremely proud.
Ok, you Execs out there. How many times have you been awake at night calculating how long you have before there is a payroll crisis? You are waiting for that reimbursement from the City that is already two months overdue, and there is a grant proposal that you submitted that realistically only has a 50/50 chance of being funded, and you had to cancel the special event because of the pandemic, and the bank your organization has been with for 25 years was just bought out and they are acting like they never heard of you before so won’t give you a bridge loan. Remember, Exec, it’s on you to hold that tent pole up!
Yeah. So, fellow nonprofiteers, there are ups and downs, highs and lows when being Exec. Like baseball, it can be a humbling experience. Just when you think you had a great day at the circus, something will come along and remind you just how many winds can knock that tent pole down. People from the bigs or from the for-profit world just don’t know.
Maybe owners of small for profits feel the same way – I don’t know because I’ve never done it, so I don’t get it. That’s what Jennifer and I talked about.
Comments